Better is always Best

Some of the most graphic, powerful life lessons come out of the strangest and most unlikely of places. And very often the gateway to a powerful place of learning and miracles comes shrouded in offence. How many times I have marveled at what I would have missed if I had stopped to take offence. And how many times I have regretted that I did take offence! How many times, in the Bible, people received breakthroughs simply because they rose above the offence with which Jesus tested them.

For instance, I happily found myself humbled and in a particularly magical place of learning because I rose above offence.

I have an Aunt, Mrs. Alice Bhagwat, who I lovingly call ‘Baby Aunty’. On the surface, my Baby Aunty is very blunt in her manner of speech, a quality often misunderstood by people. However, I have always shared a close, respectful relationship with my aunt because under the blunt comebacks lurks powerful wisdom. Sure, my aunt has shortcomings but she also has a heart of gold that outweighs everything else.

As I struggled to cope with the grief of losing a child, this particular aunt of mine offered me a very small slice of traditional sympathy and then, true to her blunt style, told me, “Go out and feel someone else’s pain. It will make you realize that your pain is small in comparison.” I could have sworn at her, called her insensitive, crazy and stricken her from my life. However, from track record, my aunt’s advice has never gone wrong. And this dates all the way back to when she was my Physics teacher in high school. The tough love she showed me constantly urged me to try harder and rise higher. ‘No’ was never an option. I noted this new, insensitive sounding advice as something to be implemented in earnest and I took a step towards this.

Not long after, I walked up to, Carly Lewis, the Pastor in-charge of community outreach at our church and offered my services. I didn’t know what to expect but I offered my services anyway. Having seen and having tried to help people living in abject poverty/ pain in my home country, India, I imagined that the need for community service in Australia would be quite small. I was perfectly set up for a big surprise.

 As it turned out, sorting clothes and shoes was what this job entailed. Our church, C3 Silverwater, has what we call a ‘Care Centre’ – a place where less fortunate people can come and help themselves to donated clothes, toys, food hampers and other things that they might need. In a bid to provide our ‘guests’ with this blessing in a respectful manner, all items are sorted and only the very best are arranged as in a store – on racks, as per sizes. Much different from India where the need is so severe that people care little for any such niceties. And so, I began to spend one day a week helping sort stuff out at the Care Centre. I never got meet any of the people who visited the ‘Care Centre’. Not exactly my idea of feeling someone’s pain. But I decided that serving was important. The ‘how’ was of little consequence.

This tiny involvement I had was to unfold very quickly and in a way I had never imagined.

A few weeks into sorting, I received a call from my pastor saying that they were planning to host a ‘Community Service’ every Thursday and that they would like me to play guitar for the time of worship. This Community Service is, as the terminology says, for any person from the community who is in need of a little love, a little help and a safe place – irrespective of religion, nationality or social status. All of a sudden, Thursday became the most significant day of the week. We were actually meeting these ‘guests’, sharing the love of God and a time of fellowship with them over a hot lunch that each of us on the team takes turns to prepare.

The first lesson I learned is this – need knows no geographical borders. Wherever there are people, there are needs. Contrary to my previous perception, pain doesn’t always stem from financial want. Some of our guests are people with severe mental health issues. Some are refugees who literally have nothing and who cannot speak English. Most of our guests live in isolation. Loneliness, as it turns out, is the biggest problem in today’s world. There are people who have experienced terrible loss. There are people who used to have a good life but the fates changed and they lost all. There are people with health issues. Sometimes dreams break so many times that one ends up broken simply because they run dry of hope. I learned, in an instant, that there is very great pain, in very different forms. If only we could be sensitive enough to stop, note and take action!

The second lesson I learned, all over again, is this – be thankful for everything I have. This is ultimately life’s biggest lesson and the one that requires endless remembering.

One Thursday, we had a dynamic guest speaker preach a small message. He took a $50 note out of his pocket and asked this mixed audience of people if anyone would like to have it. As expected, several hands went up. He then took out another $50 note, scrunched it up, stuck it in his armpit, rubbed it under his shoes and then asked if anyone would like to have this smelly, abused $50. Sure enough, several hands went up. He asked one young lady why she would want it. She replied, “Because the value is still the same.” This was the crux of His message – we are all worth something. Some of us have very fortunate lives but others have been scrunched and trampled on just like that $50 note. Nevertheless, to God we are all worth the same. He sees us for who we are on the inside. He is faithful to respond to everyone who cries out to Him with a sincere heart. He knows our worth. He is the one who made us and He has called us precious. We are not entitled to undervalue ourselves, just as we are not entitled to undervalue another human being. This was a powerful lesson we learned. But the best was yet to come…

Closing His message with flare, the preacher gave the clean and smooth $50 note to the young lady who had answered his question. She received it with thanks and then taught a powerful, practical lesson to every single one of us there. She walked up to the church offering box and put the $50 note in. This girl lives in a public shelter with nothing to call her own except for her one year old son and a few clothes.  Yet, here she was giving away an amount that could have bought her a week’s worth of groceries. Her singular action spoke louder than many sermons we have heard from the pulpit. Clearly, there was a generosity and a greatness in her that defied her external circumstances. Here was thankfulness, contentment and faith in action. Faith in a God who said, “Cast your bread upon the waters and it will return to you a thousand fold.”

There are too many such touching moments for me to list out. What I can say though is that I am blessed to be part of the amazing team that hits the pause button on their lives every Thursday to be there for someone in need. It is a privilege and a blessing to the team that these people allow us to reach out to them. Not surprisingly, we are the ones who go home humbled and slightly better people than when we walked in. I often go home having noted a new area in my heart that calls for improvement and a new area in my life for which I ought to be thankful.

Needless to say, my own healing was set well into motion by following the advice of my very wise Aunt. I’m grateful that God put her in my life – a person who never sets out to project herself but in an unassuming manner, with her heart and sometimes blunt words, has been a blessing to many. As I get older, I’m continually surprised at how many lessons life has to offer – provided one is happy to learn. And learn without resentment.  The singular differentiating factor from one person to the next, in a world full of imperfect people and imperfect circumstances, is one’s desire to tirelessly aspire to be better. Even a tiny degree of improvement, no matter how small, still amounts to ‘better’. And ‘better’ is always best.