I had a very interesting experience today. I wasn’t feeling very well but I dragged myself out to the library with my son Jaden and then to the shops with my mum. This sort of impromptu shopping, minus a list, resulted in my returning home without many of the supplies I should have ideally remembered to buy; especially as I have family arriving from interstate tonight.
I made a second trip to the shops after picking Shannon up from school. As I got out of my car I realised that I had left home without my wallet. I felt pretty stumped – no one else with me apart from Shannon and we were a long drive away from home. Suddenly, I remembered a certain item lying in the boot of my car that I had long been meaning to return and get a refund on. I returned the said item and got a $30 refund. I was so excited at my stroke of pure genius. But not for long.
As I walked the isles of the supermarket I realised that $30 doesn’t go very far. My mind went into mathematics mode as I added and subtracted to figure out what I could and should get. I quickly found that my list had to be amended to exclude all the “nice to haves” – flowers for the table, packs of freshly squeezed juice, a new dustbin, cookies, peppermint tea, etc. I struggled to accomodate the immediate necessities – eggs, meat, bread rolls, veg, toothpaste, etc. Shannon thought it was an excellent game as I navigated my way through questions like, “what if I got the celery instead of the broccoli? What if we just got cage eggs instead of the free-range ones?”. I, on the other hand, became acutely aware that this was a reality for so many people on a daily basis. My graphic, creative mind absorbed the lesson in greater depth because I was viewing myself from the outside. I had left home in my most stretched-out jeans and without a stitch of make-up. The dark circles under my tired eyes were beautifully complemented by my herbal-oiled hair, pulled back into a ponytail. I almost never allow myself to exist looking this way – let alone leave the house; more so without my wallet. Money makes a lot of things seem acceptable mostly because it brings certain type of confidence. But here I was, looking terrible and trying to strictly shop within $30. My frantic calculations were punctuated with the occasional reproach to Shannon in hushed tones. She kept attracting attention to us with her commentary, “Now you have only $5 left…if you buy that you’ll have only 60 cents left…”
I could’ve just driven home, got my wallet and visited the neighbourhood shops. But I’m glad I chose to be lazy and tried to manage with what I had available to me. This experience forced me into someone else’s shoes. It made me think of the people whose shopping lists regularly consist of a whole bunch of “needs” and not a single “nice to have”. It made me think of the people who wish they were invisible as they paced the aisles of the grocery store just trying to source a meal for themselves or put food on the table for the family. This experience felt like an assault on my dignity. It taught me to value my life but to never start valuing it so much that I become oblivious to the circumstances of those around me. I have always known this truth but a practical taste of things raises one to a new level of consciousness.
People often tend to count their blessings in dollars. But in truth, one of life’s greatest blessings is this – never needing to count the pennies.
– Melissa Domingo
31 May, 2017