A Dispensable Idea

“No one is indispensable.”

How often have we heard this said? It echoes in the general atmosphere of our world today. Not too surprising, considering we live in an age of the ‘disposable’ rather than the ‘fixable’.

“No one is indispensable.” If put a bit differently, this reads, “Everyone is dispensable.”

“Dispensable”, according to the dictionary, means disposable, inessential, unnecessary, replaceable, superfluous, unneeded, redundant. When we tell someone they are dispensable we are essentially sugar coating a bunch of adjectives that our politically correct society would deem as rude.

 I don’t like to think of myself as being dispensable and I’m sure you don’t either. But sadly, all of us have felt dispensable at some point because we have valued ourselves based on what we do rather who we are. Or maybe we have an association with someone else who values us on what we can ‘bring’ rather than who we ‘are’. Under this logic, I should be replaceable as a mother based on the duties I perform rather than my personal value within the relationship. This idea is absurd. Of course, I restrict my writings to an interpersonal, human level seeing as the corporate/ work sphere is a law unto itself.

I’ve noticed these days that, by and large, the quality of friendships has deteriorated shockingly, simply because people enter into them unsure of whether they should accept the person as they are and love them for who they are. This is the age where friends are picked considering how beneficial they would be to one’s image, if their attitude is flattering to one’s ego and basically if they’re able to bring something fancy to the figurative “table”. Gone are the days where friends were picked simply based on their ability to love unconditionally, be trusted unconditionally and be a source of laughter, support and strength. We have mastered the art of using superficially kind words to maintain associations because we’re too afraid to commit to them with the loyalty and grit of yesteryears. Even social media is quite amusing. We have hundreds of ‘friends’. We have mastered the ability to camouflage the fundamental evil lurking in society, the idea that people are as quickly replaceable as the bottle of Cola inside your refrigerator.

I felt moved to write this piece to externalise my introspections – to serve as a gentle reminder to myself and also to those who might stop to read this. The world is suffering from depression. Because the people of the world have lost sight of the fact that each of us was created to be unique, special, necessary and irreplaceable. I am a Christian and the whole basis of my belief system lies in the fact that each and every human being is irreplaceable and important to the God who created us; so important that He sent His only son Jesus to die for us to save us from an eternity of damnation – “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not die but have eternal life.” (1 John 3:16) The Bible says, “God has set eternity in the hearts of men.” (Ecclesiastes 3:9) How can anyone that has eternity set within themselves be dispensable? I too have often allowed someone else to dictate my value completely forgetting that God has already attached a price tag to me – it reads, ‘priceless’.

Everyone wants to be a world changer. I do too. I always envisioned world changing to be a big and flashy thing; this was until my world became very small. Due to various circumstances I found that my wide world had suddenly shrunk to miniature size. It took some getting used to, to realise how even attempting to make this miniature world a better place was really worthwhile. In my case, this translated to making time for a friend, never brushing off people’s calls/ messages, cooking for someone, singing for someone, praying for someone, buying someone a present – just because, teaching someone something that I know, being a conscientious wife/ mother, being appreciative of other people and in short, making the people in my world realise that each of them has a special place in my heart – not replaceable with anyone or anything else.

There are several measures being put in place, globally, to make the world a better place. This is great news. But I guess the greatest news would be the global, personal realisation that we have the power to change the world one indispensable person at a time. We are called to make people realise the value that God has placed upon them and to then back that up by personally respecting that value; this has the power to turn the “ordinary” into “extraordinary”.

As it turns out, on some level, we don’t entirely live in the age of the disposable. Each and every human being is a special edition, one off issue – no upgrades, no add ons, no re-issues. A famous musician once said, “To want to be someone else is to waste the person that you are.” This can be a real ‘body wash through the hair’ kind of realisation – you know when you run body wash through your hair by mistake and then realise it actually made your hair really silky?Realising that your best self is ONLY yourself, is the most startling and revealing realisation. The day we we are able to recognise this in ourselves is the day we will fully recognise this in others.

“No one is indispensable” – this is a dispensable idea. And I guess the best way to bring in change is to remind ourselves and those around us that all of us come with a price tag – Priceless. No Discounts. Ever.