Everyone has their own sense of style. Some of us are more uncompromising in this regard, than others. I learned this important lesson many, many years ago from my maternal grand-mother who is now 91.
My Nanna, Beryl, is part British, part Russian and part Portuguese. As if this isn’t exotic enough, she was born and raised in India. My Nanna sure loves India. She loves her Indian food. Although, she doesn’t look Indian, she speaks the queen’s English (albeit with an Indian accent) and despite having been born in India, struggles to make sense of Indian languages. Then there is her uncompromising sense of dress – She strictly wears frocks.
As a child, I remember admiring Nanna’s sense of dress. Her dresses usually had bright and bold floral patterns in very fine materials, usually embellished by one of her exquisite crystal brooches neatly pinned on her chest. She smelled lovely too, usually of her favourite perfume “Charlie”. All of Nanna’s frocks were strictly hand-tailored to meet her checklist:
1) Must have a 6 piece skirt of modest length.
2) Must have a collar with lace trimming.
3) Must have a sash that ties up in the back.
4) Must have lace trimmings incorporated elsewhere in the design.
5) Must have fancy buttons on the bodice.
6)ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY MUST HAVE A POCKET. This pocket MUST be a side pocket.
She would compromise on the lace if they were “House Frocks” but the Pocket was absolutely, positively non-negotiable.
As I grew older and started to make my own money I would often buy fabric and have a dress tailored for my Nanna, by this stage Nanna did not leave the house much and therefore, all of her dresses needed to be, what she calls, “House Frocks”. I would, however, have them tailored to one of her sample dresses by my own tailor who charged a fair bit of money – just to make sure that my otherwise simple and plain grandma was happy with the “fit”! She would always call after me, “Make sure he puts in a pocket.”
The infamous and compulsory pocket…I suspected as a child that Nanna had half the house in there. Almost anything we asked for would magically surface out of her pocket – sweets, combs, hair ties, Bobby pins, prayer books, a candle and a matchbox (in case of a power outage!), safety pins, a rosary, band aids, loose change to give out to the grandchildren, the list goes on… But Nanna never carried any make-up because according to her, only empty heads wasted their time in “titivating”.
Yes, Nanna and her pockets have afforded me many laughs.
Recently, as I rushed around at 7:30am trying to hurry my daughter off to school, out of nowhere, I thought of Nanna. I had just whipped out a hairbrush and a hair tie from the pocket of my dressing gown to fix my daughter’s hair. This was after I had taken a pen out of….my pocket…to sign my daughter’s school diary, after I had answered the phone ringing…in my pocket, after I had put on some Chapstick that lives…in my pocket and after…my pocket…had produced a bandaid to slap onto my son’s injured forehead. I did not, however, have need for the guitar pick that my finger grazed while rummaging around for the hairbrush. Nor would I need the roll on sun-screen this morning. It was an overcast and rainy day. Nor would I need the spoon or the eraser I had confiscated from my toddler; dangerous items are best kept hidden.
Yes, I laughed. 31 years and two children later, I had finally understood my Nanna’s wisdom, regarding pockets.
Better still, I realised, that I had realised this a long time ago.
All the way back in high school, I decided that I preferred to carry a guitar instead of a handbag. My jeans pocket came in handy to hold my essentials – money, chewing gum, guitar picks, keys to my vespa, lip gloss, nail polish and a tiny foldable comb.
While at Uni getting my engineering degree, my pockets held my cell phone, a pen, folded up graphs, sometimes a list of physics formulas, my trusty guitar pick, lip gloss, keys to my car, driver’s license and money. On the odd day, I even stuffed my scientific calculator into my pocket or maybe some junk jewellery? Who cared what that looked like?! Convenience is king.
As a mother, pockets took on a whole new significance. Depending on the time and place, I have carried all manner of novelties in my pockets – toys, mini wipes, thermometers, paracetamol, on-the-go breakfast bars/crackers, hair ties, a mini comb and the ever trusty lip gloss and guitar pick. Depending on how little time I have had to do my make-up, I might even carry an eye pencil. Sometimes, if the pockets are large enough (like roomy jacket ones) I have even found a way to carry a diaper, a pack of mini wipes and a mini bottle of water. Carrying things on your person is wonderful as long as they don’t create unsightly bulges, of course. I find handbags very restricting. I like having my arms free – it’s so much easier to carry the shopping or maybe to rub your eyes or sometimes, using one hand to stop the baby from hurling to the ground during his tantrum, while freeing his other hand from stretching your neckline down to your knees. I’ve also found that the best way not to lose your handbag is to simply not carry one! Pockets around the house are absolutely invaluable – as you would imagine, being constantly followed by little people with an endless and varied set of demands requires a high level of accessibility and convenience.
Nanna truly knew a thing or two about pockets. As I get older I am learning more and more of the wisdom that she has long possessed, wisdom that reaches far beyond the literal. The most defining aspect of our pockets lies in the figurative. The unseen that we choose to carry and the unseen that we choose not to – these things have the potential to change the world.
Pockets must carry a ready smile and a small amount of sunshine. Perry Como once sang, “Catch a falling Star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day.” What if we all carried a pocket full of light? Pockets must carry a will to share. My Nanna would split even the tiniest piece of candy (usually retrieved from her pocket) amongst us grandchildren, irrespective of how many of us were around. It was never about the quantity, it was about the heart. What if we all decided to change the world with just the loose change in our pockets? Pockets must carry a pinch of salt to mix with the not so good words that people sometimes speak over us. What if we all chose to take things with a pinch of salt and see the good in one another? All of these things offset by the things that we must choose NOT to carry – un-forgiveness, anger, gossip and jealousy.
Pockets are everyday things that are fascinating in an everyday kind of way. The possibilities are truly limitless with only a few simple rules:
1) Make sure your pockets don’t have holes.
2) Make sure they are deep and not the saggy type that allows stuff to fall out.
3) Try not to carry any liquids that might leak (especially flammable and coloured liquids).
4) Preferably, avoid any unsightly bulges.
I’ll leave you now to learn how to work a pocket – front one, side one, top one, back one, plain one, lace lined one – just make sure it’s your own.